Comparison is the thief of Joy

Comparison is the thief of joy.  -- Theodore Roosevelt

I ran across this quote on Pinterest the other day and it has stuck with me.  I think about it every day.  I think about how my habit of comparing myself to others has completely stolen my joy.  It resonated with me so much it followed me into my Bible reading and prayer time.  I found scriptures in Exodus (of all places) which spoke to me the importance of being me and not imitating someone else. 

There is a gal I know.  She shall be called Mallory.  Mostly because I don't know a Mallory in real life and I like that name. Also I don't need the real "Mallory" to know about my girl crush and my longings to be like her because it would probably creep her out...

Anyhow...

Mallory is perfect.  She is gorgeous.  She is skinny.  She has an impeccable wardrobe.  Her makeup is flawless.  Her hair is always perfectly styled.  Everyone loves her.  Everyone wants to be her friend.  She has mad skills and talents that people PAY her to perform.  From where I am looking, Mallory is the person to be. 

So much time was spent by me telling my mirror why Mallory is so great and why I am so...not.  Why should I have been surprised when my joy was nowhere to be found? 

My newest goal is to be the best ME I can be.  The world doesn't need another Mallory.  Mallory is busy being the best Mallory she can be.  The last thing the world needs is a cheap imitation of Mallory.  Maybe, just maybe, what the world needs is a genuine Deborah.  So what if the real genuine Deborah is 40 (alright...45) pounds heavier than Mallory.  So what if Deborah doesn't have the same skill set (or any in particular that I can think of right now...).  I was created by God to be me!  Mallory was created by God to be Mallory!  What a boring world we would live in if we were all created to be the same! 

I am currently in the recovery phase.  As I read the Word and spend time in His presence, I ask the Lord to show me His purpose for my life.  For Him to shed light on my specific skill set.  For Him to remind me what is so great about Deborah.  What has He created for me to do that Mallory can not do?  I ask Him to remind me that He is jealous for me!  Exodus 34:14 says, "You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you."  (emphasis mine). 

As I was reading my women of the Bible devotional, I ran across a story about Leah and Rachel.  I don't know that the Bible ever clearly dictates that Rachel was beautiful and Leah was not.  What I do know is that Jacob found Rachel more beautiful and was tricked into marrying Leah first.  How distraught Leah must have felt!  How she must have compared herself to her little sister!  How her joy must have been stolen because of that comparison.  The devotional pointed out this one thing:  God chose to send his son through the Tribe of Judah.  Judah was the youngest of Leah's sons.  Leah may not have been the more beautiful sister, but she had the distinct privilege (although she wouldn't have known) of giving birth to Judah through whom God's own son would come to this Earth.  Could God still have accomplished his purpose and sent His son another way? Sure; but He chose to use Leah's kin.  Although she viewed herself as ugly and unloved...as useless...she was a vital part of God's plan for salvation.

Comparison is a mental competition.  Although competition can be a good thing which pushes us to strive for excellence, it becomes destructive when spurred by jealousy.  My obsession with Mallory hasn't been based on learning beauty secrets or bettering myself.  It has been based on jealousy, incompetence, and self-loathing.  (I need help huh??) 

I have asked myself and I have focused some of my prayer time on this one question: What has God specially gifted me to do?  In Exodus, when Moses is receiving the instructions for building the tabernacle he names one man, Bezalel.  Bezalel was specially gifted in craftsmanship.  This one man was to be in charge of all the minute details of the tabernacle down to hammering pure gold to form the lampstand with the almond blossoms and the cherubim for the ark of the covenant.  What a skill!  Exodus 35: 30-33 says: "The Lord has specifically chosen Bezalel son of Uri, grandson of Hur, of the tribe of Judah.  The Lord has filled Bezalel with the Spirit of God, giving him great wisdom, ability, and expertise in all kinds of crafts. He is a master craftsman, expert in working with gold, silver, and bronze.  He is skilled in engraving and mounting gemstones and in carving wood. He is a master at every craft."  I wonder if Bezalel ever sold himself short.  I wonder if he thought, "I'm not a great shephard, but I sure can hammer gold and carve wood.  How will I ever be able to contribute to my people?" 

I've got to stop selling myself short.  I may be 30 pounds overweight.  I may never be as beautiful as Mallory.  I may never be able to put an outfit together like Mallory...but I'm also not worthless. God has a plan for my life.  His plan is beautiful.



No more comparisons.  I chose Joy.