Sharing my heart--Day 20

I am in recovery from years and years of damage resulting from a life filled with self doubt and insecurity.  There seems to be no end to the lies that fill my heart and mind all day long.  Starting when I wake up and not ending until I fall asleep, the thoughts attack.  For years I have listened to the lies, I have learned to ignore them at times, but what I need to learn is how to shut them down.  When the lies come, I have to be ready with the Word of God.  When the voice whispers, "You'll never be as pretty as _____."  I have to shut the voice down with Psalm 139:14: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."  When the voice tells me, "You aren't worth her friendship" or "Your husband could do so much better, why does he stay with you." I HAVE to shut the voice down.  Those thoughts are toxic and I have been suffering with the results of toxic thoughts for far too long.  How many friendships have I failed to pursue because I was convinced I wasn't good enough to associate with someone?  How many relationships have I rendered useless because of my debilitating insecurity.  How many times have I told God that his most prized possession was worthless, trash, junk...not good for anything?  Who am I to tell the creator of the universe that something he made was a mistake?  How the Lord has put up with me for the past 32 years is only a testament to His unending, never-failing love.

My 28 thanks:

1. God's love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.

2. I have been told by several people they can tell I have lost weight.

3. Zachary did great at the dentist!  No cavities!

4. Madelyn has enjoyed her first week of dance classes.

5. Orange Leaf is a fun occasional treat.

6. Matt flew to San Antonio on a business trip.  He made it there and home again safely.

7. He and his coworker unknowingly avoided the interstate where a horrific wreck had occurred.  They could have been stuck in traffic for hours and would have missed their meeting, but didn't.

8. Zachary asked if he could brush his teeth "just for fun".

9. My kids have wonderful teachers this year!

10. Zachary asked to go to the library.

11. The library was super quiet, so I was able to read and focus.

12. I have the mind of Christ, therefore, I can recognize when the thoughts creeping around in my head are Godly or lies from the devil.

13. I have found favor throughout my pre-dental school journey.

14. I may be just a "normal" person, but my words can still be used to bless others.

15. I am an overcomer.

16. I can and will overcome my battle with insecurity--one thought at a time.

17. The Lord is my refuge and strength; a very present help in times of trouble.

18.  I was taught from a young age to hide God's Word in my heart.

19. Madelyn is ROCKING 3rd grade Stars.

20. Madelyn is driven and always does her best.

21. Zachary has been asking for a Bible.

22. He wants to learn to read so he can read his Bible.

23. I have an amazing new mattress!

24. No more back pain!

25. Now that school has started, I have a little time to fit in dental observations and workouts at the Y.

26. Because of the new mattress and the workouts, I have been sleeping much better.

27. I get to apply to dental hygiene school in January!  It is so close!

28. You are both judged and influenced by the company you keep.  I want to keep good company.  I want to be good company.