Facebook. My dad says it is "of the devil", sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. I will concede that at times, it stirs up emotional responses that I would rather not experience. Other times it makes me extremely happy or hopeful. It keeps me in touch with friends and family who are far away. It makes "communication" (at least some form of it) available at all times.
Anyhow, all that aside. A friend of mine posted on another friend's timeline today. She was being a great friend and sending thoughts and prayers towards a healthy labor and delivery. Her comment rubbed me the wrong way and I spent my entire shower this evening planning out a clever Facebook status update when it hit me, I have a blog. So, I will blog instead.
The comment was along the lines of babies are the greatest. You will do awesome. You know. That. But one comment was in essence, People told me having a baby would change everything and they said it in a negative way, but in my experience, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.
Let me make this very clear: What she said was great, it was kind, it was helpful and there was NOTHING wrong with what was said. The problem was ME AND MY EMOTIONAL REACTION.
1) I LOVE MY CHILDREN.
But, they are an inconvenience. A WONDERFUL inconvenience. They eat my food, they spend my money, they stain my carpet and they make me late. How is that not an inconvenience? But, I WOULDN'T HAVE MY LIFE ANY OTHER WAY. I love them. I dearly love them.
2) Don't judge anyone until you walk a mile in their shoes.
How does that quote go? Then you will be a mile away and have their shoes...something like that. But, here it is. The people who said that a baby would change your life and it sounded like a negative thing...do you know their story? Maybe you do. Maybe not. Having a baby sure changed my life. It was the most wonderful negative thing to happen to me. How can I say that?? Well, for one thing...I was 22 when I got married. I was 22 when I found out (6 months later) that I was pregnant. I was 23 when I had my daughter. There was no money. We had (my) ridiculous credit card debt. We had a new car. We just (stupidly) bought a new truck we thought we needed. We couldn't pay our bills and buy diapers and formula. We were hurting. We didn't get to go to Europe (yes...all of it) first before starting a family. We didn't get to live out our dream of building a house before starting a family. We didn't get to take a baby moon vacation to Cozumel (or wherever people go on baby moons to). We were dirt poor and now we had a baby. That changes your life. Hamburger Helper is not delicious...but you eat what you can afford.
3) Everyone has their story and sometimes they trust you enough to tell it.
Even my friend has her own story to tell about her journey into parenting. It is a roller coaster ride. I consider myself blessed because I have two beautiful children. I didn't have to try hard to get them. In fact, I didn't have to try at all. That fact is a slap in the face to my friends who did have to try hard. Those who had to use IVF to birth their own children. Those who struggle with infertility or miscarriage. Everyone has a story.
4) I am still on a journey
Guess what? I have now been married (almost) 11 years. My daughter is 9 and I have a 6 year old son. I still haven't been to Europe. I still haven't built my dream house. Heck, right now, I am trying to pay for dental hygiene school, but that is another story for another day. BUT, we can pay our bills. We can clothe and feed our children. God is good. Here's the deal. Life isn't fair and is sure as heck isn't easy. Sometimes it plain sucks. So, to sum it up: Life's a journey.
My reaction was wrong, but I still had to share because I need that accountability when jealousy rears up its ugly head in my life. I was immensely jealous when I read that comment. I was jealous of the house and the baby moon and the friends and the baby who is never an inconvenience. Why can't my life be that wonderful and easy? God has a plan. His plan will use all my struggles for His glory. You can't beat that.
ccarria
Unexpected Hospital Stay
4 years ago
