Day 4

I love my 4th grade girls.  I love teaching them the units in our girls ministry.  Tonight was different, we are doing a summer series and even though it is way different than my usual Wednesday night teaching, I had a blast.  Off The Rails is a fun series.  Tonight we talked about the parable of the prodigal son.  It's a story we've all heard and one we all love.  You can never be to old to appreciate the fact that no matter what we have done, no matter what we are currently doing and no matter what we will do in the future, our heavenly father loves us!  We can't earn it, we don't deserve it and the best news of all...we can't lose it!  Our heavenly father loves us NO MATTER WHAT.  Even when we deny him or reject him he STILL LOVES US.  He is watching and waiting for us to come home where he will welcome us with open arms.  What an amazing God we serve.

My 28 thanks:

1. The parables of Jesus are still useful for teaching 2000 years later.

2. God loves me!

3. His love for me is unconditional.

4. I don't deserve God's love, and there is nothing I can do to earn it, but He loves me anyway!

5. No matter what, I cannot lose God's love. 

6. Tonight, I watched Zachary dance, sing, and raise his hands during praise and worship.

7. Zachary enjoyed his new class tonight.

8. Zachary made a really cute Father's day craft for Matt tonight in his class.

9. Madelyn enjoyed meeting Ms. Shea and Mrs. Danielle in her 3rd grade class tonight.

10. I watched as Madelyn walked over to her brother during praise and worship to help him feel comfortable in his new environment.  She is a great big sister (most of the time)!

11. We went to the Omniplex (Okay, okay....Oklahoma Science Museum...who even calls it that?) today and had a great time!

12. I finally got to go to a planetarium show!  Every time we have been the planetarium has been closed. 

13. The kids enjoyed the planetarium too!

14. My cousin lives two streets away from me and had a shelter put in tonight!  Now I have a place really close to home to go when the weather gets bad!

15. The kids and I have been jamming out to PFR in the car the past couple of days!  I love having a CD player in my car!  Admit it, you loved PFR's song, Great Lengths, as much as I did...right?

16. I love watching weird TV shows like Toy Hunter and Storage Wars with Matt.

17. Barry on Storage Wars makes me laugh.

18. Both my kids can brush their own teeth! 

19. Both my kids can buckle their own seatbelts!

20. I love having mostly self sufficient kids, it  makes life so much easier!

21. I have the awesome responsibility of teaching God's word to young girls.

22. The girls in my class make me laugh.

23. I asked the girls what they think is the dirtiest animal on a farm.  One girl told me a cow mixed with a rooster.  Where do they come up with this stuff?

24. I was able to take a father's day craft home with me.  I plan to make my daddy a nice little corny father's day gift.  I hope to make him laugh!

25. I put on a pair of capris I haven't been able to wear and they fit!

26. The burritos I made for dinner tonight were delicious!

27. I signed Madelyn up for Kids Camp tonight!  She is going to have so much fun!

28. I get to go to Kids Camp this year too!  I am crazy excited!

Day 3

Today has just been...today. 
No major failures, no major breakthroughs, no major revelations and no major frustrations.
I welcome days like these.  Especially after days like yesterday.

My 28 thanks:

1. Summer means sleeping in!  Sleeping in is good.

2. We went out shopping for a little bit and the kids were well behaved (mostly).

3. Zachary told me his flip flops were sweating because of his grubby feet. It made me laugh.  He is a funny funny kid.

4. While out, I found Madelyn a swim suit for $4.50. 

5. I love Target, especially the clearance racks!

6. It is hard to beat the prices at Gordman's.

7. I found a pair of Fossil sunglasses at Gordman's for $18!  The best part is, I have birthday money so I didn't have to walk away...I actually got to buy them! 

8. Sonic Happy Hour...need I say more?

9. The JJ Heller cds I ordered from Amazon came in the mail today!

10. Amazon has great deals!

11. JJ Heller's music is so mellow.  I love it!

12. My new car has a cd player!  You never know how much you use it until you drive a car without one for a few years.

13. I bought stuff that wasn't on my list at the grocery store and I still came in under budget!

14. Madelyn was a big help at the grocery store.  She even helped me unload the car and bring groceries into the house.

15. Loading groceries into the back of the Santa Fe is so much easier than loading them into the trunk of the Grand Marquis. 

16. Matt and I think the same things are funny.

17. Matt wears ear plugs when he mows the yard.  I didn't know this until today.  When I asked him about it he looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Yeah, that lawnmower is loud. I'm not trying to lose my hearing."  I don't know why, but I thought that was funny...it made me laugh.

18. I love laughing; laughing is my favorite.

19. Madelyn still loves playing with dolls. I just want to hit the pause button because the last 8 years have already gone by too fast.

20. We discussed possibly taking a Christmas timeish mini-vacation to Great Wolf Lodge. 

21. Zyrtec works really well for my allergies. 

22. I am excited about my choreography to Call Me Out by Gungor.  It's a fun song and it will be a fun dance!

23. I got to take a shower before the kids got up this morning. The water was hot and the house was quiet.  It was a great shower. 

24. Tomorrow is Wednesday and I get to participate in Off The Rails.  The kids are saying amazing things about the series so I am excited to be a part of it!

25. Madelyn asked to watch So You Think You Can Dance with me today.  It makes me happy that she loves dance.

26. Zachary has a mathematical brain.  He figured out 8+8 all by himself today.

27. My friend Stefanie had her baby, Levi, last night and he is precious!

28. Zachary just crawled up in my lap to love on me and then called me his "little elephant".  I have no idea why he called me that, but I love that he (even at 5) still enjoys climbing in my lap and cuddling with me. 

Day 2

Today I failed.

Yesterday I said I was gaining maturity...today I threw maturity out the window and my phone on the floor like a two year old throwing a tantrum.  Yesterday I was happy to see that I was becoming known as and easy-going person who is doesn't get offended easily...today I went off the deep end. 

We all have our good days and our bad days; but even in the bad days there are things for which we can bless the Lord. 

My 28 thanks:

1. I live in a country of abundance.

2. Because of that abundance, I had a nice phone to throw when I got angry.

3. Although I shattered the screen of said phone, I had a screen protector on it which is holding everything in place until I can get it fixed.

4. The phone still works with a shattered screen.

5. Because the phone still works, I was able to take all the phone calls from the church today for tornado relief.

6. I am so thankful Kara thought of me to take tornado relief calls.  I wanted to help, but it is difficult to get out in the middle of such wreckage with two small children.  Taking calls from home is perfect.

7. Madelyn's friend was able to come over today.  She stayed a lot longer than we originally thought and the kids were ecstatic about it!

8. The kids washed my car the old fashioned way with rags and a bucket of soapy water.

9. They thought it was fun!  Yay for free labor!  

10. They played outside in the sprinkler for a long time and had a blast.

11. Who knew running errands with three kids would be easier than with two?  I was able to run to two banks and the post office with absolutely no trouble. 

12. The laughter coming from the back seat of my car was contagious.

13. My husband's new job is amazing!

14. He found out that he is going to get vacation for his years worked, not just at this job, but his entire work experience.  Next year he will get 4 weeks vacation...I have no idea what to do with that much!

15. The Lord gives us everything we need.  Then he gives us more!  

16. My friend's pillow was thrown into clean trash and was able to be salvaged.

17. I was able to make my friend spew water out her nose because of a funny text.

18. I like it when people think I am funny.

19. Tonight was daddy/daughter night.

20. I love spending time with my Dad...even when he gives me a hard time.

21. He is so calm and logical...and when he is angry, he makes sure he throws things that are cheap...not expensive phones.

22. I have a lot to learn from my Dad.

23. If it weren't for daddy/daughter night, I wouldn't get to see my sister, Sarah, as much.  I love my sister.

24. When Sarah gets married she will live on the south side of the city again and maybe we will see each other more.

25. I made tacos for dinner, but because of daddy/daughter night I didn't get to eat them.  Madelyn's friend ate dinner at our house and thought the tacos were great.  

26. I love being complimented on my cooking.  I'm no Pioneer Woman...but I have some things I cook very well!

27. My husband did the dishes and cleaned up dinner while I was out last night.  He's a good man.

28. He didn't get mad when I told him what I did to my phone.  He is usually calm like my dad.  Did I mention he is a good man?

Everybody's doin' it

So, since I am jumping on the bandwagon, I will share with you a little ditty my Mama used to sing:

Everybody's doin' it,

doin' it, doin' it.

Pickin' their nose and

chewin' it, chewin' it.

I know...gross, but it's the first thing I thought of when I thought about starting to add in a 10,000 reasons component to this blog.  Everyone else is doin' it.  So, here I go too.  To the best of my ability, I will strive to post 28 thanks a day.  At the end of 1 year, I will have blessed the Lord 10,000 times.  Being a pessimist in recovery, this is just what I need to remember what I am thankful for.  

And Day One begins:

1. We bought a new car last week.  We saved and saved then we paid cash.  It is a 2009 Hyundai Santa Fe and I just might be in love.

2. Unfortunately the reason we were able to purchase the car was because my cousin's husband passed away and she had to sell it to get out from under the payments.  I loved Sid.  He was an amazing man, husband and daddy.  He will be missed.  I am thankful that I know I will see him again.

3. Because we purchased a car, we were able to bless some really great friends with one of our cars.  And just when they needed it most.  I love win/win/win scenarios. 

4. We had a garage sale Saturday at my sister-in-law's house.  We made almost $200 and were able to donate what didn't sell.

5. Madelyn promoted to the 3rd/4th grade girls Sunday School this morning.  She was so excited to go to her new class and we have enjoyed hearing about how much fun she had and what she learned.

6. Zachary was happy we ate pizza for lunch today after church.  He was even happier that we were able to use coupons to make it cheaper!

7. We invited friends to have lunch with us.  Zachary was so excited to eat lunch with his best friend Alexander.

8. Mazzio's has free drinks on Sundays.

9. Mazzio's always gives out a ton of coupons that save you big time, especially when coupled with free drinks.  Today we saved $16.50 not counting what the drinks would have cost.

10. I am doing very well and learning to be frugal.

11. Madelyn was invited to go swimming with a friend today.  Her friend's family was displaced by the tornado on May 20th, but they are always looking for ways to be a blessing to others!

12. Madelyn and Allison are great friends!  I am so glad she has good Godly friends with great parents in her life!

13. I get to teach summer dance classes next Monday and Tuesday.  I'm not ready yet, but I have my music picked out and I've been praying for guidance in choreography.  It is going to come together this week and it is going to be so much fun!! 

14. Last year I was petrified of teaching the "big girls" in the summer.  This year I am excited! 

15. My aunt Louan spoiled me for my birthday.  I love having her in my life!  She connects me to my Nana and Mama.  She misses them as much as I do.

16. Louan heard Pastor Ted on the radio.  She told me how much she enjoyed listening to him talk.  It made me realize what a great church I am a part of.  We've had our ups and downs but I love that I can finally look back at all the changes and disappointments and see the blessings that have come out of it all.

17. Zachary's friend Alexander got to promote to the 5 year old class today.  Zachary and Alexander were both so happy to be in class together!

18. Pastor Kara calls me to help because she knows I am willing.  I love having a reputation of someone who loves to help!

19. Mr. Zach joked with me today about my teaching.  He doesn't really know me, but apparently I also have a reputation of being someone who knows how to joke around and doesn't get offended easily.  I want to be known as an easy going person who doesn't cause drama or get upset easily.

20. I was supposed to work in the nursery today, but because of some confusion, I wasn't needed.  Don't get me wrong...I enjoy the nursery, but since I didn't get to work the nursery, I was able to head home and grab Madelyn's swim suit for the afternoon that I forgot and I was also able to make it to my Effective Parenting Sunday School class.  I love that class, so I was glad I didn't have to miss it!

21. The other night I had some frightening tornado nightmares.  Today in church I was reminded that God hasn't given me the Spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.  

22. I was also reminded that God thinks about me.  Not only does he think about me, but he only thinks good things about me!

23. I saw my friend Amber at church today.  I hadn't seen her in a while but I didn't know how much I had missed her until I hugged her neck.  She is a fun friend!

24. I saw my friend Janelle at church today.  She has moved all over and I am sure she has some stories to tell.  We didn't talk very long, but it was so good to see her.

25. Maturity.  I still have a long way to go, but I am getting there.  

26. We had a family movie night tonight.  We watched Lilo and Stitch

27. We had popcorn with our movie.  The kids love it when we have popcorn with a movie.  Who am I kidding?  I love it too!

28. I am almost finished shopping for father's day and Matt's birthday.  I love giving gifts!

All things are possible, only believe

Smith Wigglesworth said, "Only believe, only believe, all things are possible, only believe." 

   If you were to ask me when were you the closest to God you've ever been, I'd wish I could say today (and I'm almost there) but I would have to say the beginning of my senior year of high school.  I don't even want to go into how long ago that was...  I had some setbacks and made some not so wonderful decisions that year and then went off to college.  Once in college, I joined Chi Alpha and continued to serve the Lord, but not in the completely surrendered way I had just the year before.  Then in 2000, I made some changes and got back on track.  In 2001 I began dating the man who would become my husband and we just became complacent together.  We both love the Lord and are raising our children to do the same; we strive to be good people and not the Christians who give Christianity a bad name.  We tithe and we pray together and, well, we DO all the right things.  The problem?  Our hearts haven't always been 100% surrendered...well, I can't speak for him.  MY heart hasn't always been 100% surrendered. 

  I said I would talk about it so here goes:  Three weeks ago on Monday, we were informed that Matt's job was being relocated to Houston.  We were offered a retention plan and a relocation plan and we had to choose between, stay here and not have a job after a certain time frame, or move to Houston.  I'll be honest, the relocation plan was amazing.  I was seriously tempted to move to Houston.  However, in the end, we did not feel it was God's plan for us to move.  We (and when I say we, I mean he) signed the retention papers and began the process of  updating Matt's resume and looking for jobs online, contacting a staffing firm and of course, purchasing new interview clothes.  At least some of that was fun!  Friday of the same week, I mistakenly left my garage door open for one hour in broad daylight with my car in the garage and some lowlifes decided they needed Matt's bike, weed eater and all of his tools more than we did, so they took them.  Talk about a bad week!  Sunday morning in Sunday school we had the very last discussion on the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  I decided right then and there that I would fast and pray and my circle would be around Matt and his job.  I began fasting and praying on Monday and dedicated myself to 3 weeks.  Long story short, this past Friday, Matt had an interview for a new company and it went extremely well.  We were concerned that salary might be an issue, but we were just trusting the Lord. Sunday morning at church our pastor said to the congregation that someone in the audience would be facing negotiations in the following week and not to worry because God had gone before and negotiated on your behalf and the result of the negotiation will amaze you.  I just clung to that promise and that night as I prayed, I remembered the story of Gideon asking for a sign that he was sure of God's will.  Using Gideon as my example, I made a request of the Lord, that if this job was the one he intended for us that they would offer a specific salary and that is how I would know for sure.  The next afternoon, Monday, only three weeks after getting the relocation news, Matt was offered a job for the exact salary I had requested of the Lord!  Plus bonuses!  We were amazed!  We know that our steps are ordered of the Lord, and we know that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father.  We have NO doubt He cares for us.  In these 3 weeks of fasting and praying, of seeking the Lord and doing Bible studies, I have grown so much.  I have found a new joy that I haven't had in a long long time.  I am finally where I need to be, only moving forward this time and no more moving backward. 

  And Ya'll, during all this stress, I also managed to lose .7 pounds (yes, that is point 7 pounds, as in less than one pound) this week.  I mean, that's not awesome, but "yay me" anyway! 

 

He delights in me

There are a lot of things going on right now in my life.  Nothing I can talk about specifically now, but I will.  Rest assured, I will talk about it soon.

Today I was listening to the radio.  I love Air 1.  I love supporting them and knowing that my money is making a difference in lives, maybe lives halfway around the world.  The DJ was talking to an artist (I didn't pay any attention to who the artist was or what group he is a part of).  He was talking about a time in his life when a cyst was found on the his left vocal cord and he had surgery to remove it.  As he was on voice rest, he penned the lyrics to a song on their new album.  The inspiration for the lyrics was Zephaniah 3:17.

Zephaniah 3:17

  The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Ya'll, this spoke to me. 

I love it all.  I love the part about the Lord quieting me with his love because I'm more of a talker than a listener.  I'm not so good at being quiet.  But, as I thought about it more, I realized my favorite part of the entire verse is this:  He will take great delight in you. 

He delights in me.
He delights in me.
He delights in Me!

How amazing is that!?
 
I love this!  I absolutely love this!

On Valentine's Day 1991 my mother gave me and my sister each a copy of the book Love You Forever.  She inscribed our books and took the time to change all the hes in the book to shes.  She changed man to woman and replaced his with her.  It was very special.  It is on my nightstand right now.

Her inscription to me said simply:  "Deborah, you are so delightful.  Love, Mama" 

The word "delight" is very special to me. 

I delight the Lord! 

Words

Hawk Nelson recorded this amazing song: Words

It says this:

Words can build you up

Words can break you down

Start a fire in your heart or

Put it out

Wow.  It's SO TRUE

When I was in High school I wore a size 4, sometimes 6.  I think I may have mentioned my glory days before?  

One Wednesday night after church I went with my sister to a get together at a friend's house.  While there a friend of mine took a picture of me from the waist down as I was sitting in a chair.  In no uncertain terms he said to me that my legs were fat, they were disgusting everyone at the party and I should uncross my legs to remedy the problem.  I was a dancer, I had very muscular legs...so no, they did not look like chicken legs.  My mom had passed away a year earlier and the fact of the matter is, if I didn't cook dinner after school, then dinner was likely to be from a drive through...my dad just didn't have time to do it all.  Yes, I had cellulite and yes, I can still see that picture in my mind when I close my eyes; I can still hear those words ringing in my ears.  I cried the whole way home that night; I cried myself to sleep and sometimes, when I look in the mirror and see my legs I still cry. 

Those words hurt.  THEY STILL DO.

My sister tells me I need to forgive him, but I have.  I have forgiven him many, many times.  I just can't FORGET.  It still hurts so bad.  I can count on one hand the amount of times I have worn, in public, a pair of shorts that don't cover my knees.  I am scared to death.  Someone finally confirmed what I always knew...my legs are my trouble zone.  I don't need that to be confirmed ever again.  

In my quest to learn to love myself, I feel I need to remind others that your words matter.  THEY MATTER!  So be careful.  BE CAREFUL!  

I hope someday these words don't haunt me anymore.  But until then, when his words start to echo in my mind, when I begin to feel worthless because of the words of an immature teenager spoken 17 years ago, I will meditate on what God's Word says about me. 

          

You can heal the heartache

Speak over the fear

God, you voice is the only thing

We need to hear

                                    -- Hawk Nelson

Today, Hawk Nelson's song is my prayer:

Let my words be life

Let my words be truth

I don't wanna say a word

Unless it points the world back to You.